What the couple is planning, in plain words.

The order things usually happen.

1. Yes: the first conversationsThe couple talk it through, then the families meet. The soo doonis is the formal proposal visit.
2. Nikah: the marriage contractThe Islamic requirements, and in the UK the legal steps too. These are separate, so both are checked early.
3. Aroos: the celebrationGuest list, venue, food, henna, dress and music, worked back from the date.
4. Home: the first year togetherFinding a place, moving in, the household budget and who does what.

Words you will hear.

Spelling and customs differ by dialect and by family. These are the common ones.

Aroos

The wedding celebration/reception itself — distinct from the Nikah, which is the marriage contract ceremony. Some couples hold the Nikah and Aroos on the same day; others separate them.

Buraanbuur

A traditional Somali women's celebration of song, poetry and dance, usually performed by a group at weddings and henna nights. Often hired as a team.

Dirac

The traditional long, often sheer, Somali women's dress commonly worn for weddings and special occasions, usually layered over a underskirt (gorgorad) and petticoat.

Gabaati (also Yarad, Sooryo)

A family-to-family gift some communities exchange, typically from the groom's side to the bride's, usually first raised around the soo doonis. Separate from mahr — practice and expectations vary a lot by family, and some families don't observe it at all.

Henna

Intricate temporary dye patterns applied to the bride's (and often other women's) hands and feet, usually at a dedicated henna night before the wedding.

Ijab & Qubul

The offer and acceptance that forms the core of the Nikah contract — the groom's proposal (ijab) and the bride's, or her wali's on her behalf, acceptance (qubul).

Imam

The person who leads prayers and, for Nikah purposes, is often asked to officiate or act as a witness to the marriage contract.

Mahr

A mandatory gift from the groom to the bride personally — hers to keep, agreed between the couple. It is the bride's own right, not a payment to her family.

Nikah

The Islamic marriage contract — the religiously (and, if paired with civil registration, legally) binding ceremony, distinct from the wider Aroos celebration.

Qabiil

Clan. Family and clan ties can shape guest lists, family expectations and how two families are introduced to each other.

Shaash Saar

A traditional ceremony marking a significant transition for the bride. Practices vary considerably by family and region — ask your own family what it involves for you.

Soo Doonis (also Soo Dhoonis)

The formal proposal — the groom's side approaching the bride's family to ask for her hand and seek their blessing.

Uunsi

Fragrant incense, often with oud or frankincense, burned to perfume the home, clothes and hair. It is commonly part of preparing the bride, and families differ on how they use it.

Wali

The bride's guardian, typically her father — his role in giving consent is part of the Nikah contract.

Walima

The wedding feast — a sunnah act celebrating the marriage. Among Somalis this is often held as part of the Nikah day itself, though some families hold it separately.

Xeedho

A traditional sealed container, often food-filled, that the groom's side must "win" or open — usually involving a lighthearted negotiation or challenge. Practised by some families, not all.